Zombie Apocalypse Survival, 101

- - - - - Step processes Zombie Apocalypse Survival 101

#1
Xfirekeenmike

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During a zombie apocalypse finding the perfect parking space won't be a problem. But, if you find the need to parallel park; trying to crash your car is the key.

First drive up twelve to six inches parrallel to a space between two cars until your rear tire reaches the point where the car in front bumper begins.

Now, put car in reverse and back up slowly while turning steering wheel some what quickly to the right.

Your back bumper will drive right into the curb if you don't turn the stering wheel in the opposite direction so remember "try to crash" method as follows.

While backing up and just before you hit the crub start turning steering wheel to the left and try to crash your passenger side bumper into the rear drivers side bumper of the car in front.

The plan shouldn't be to crash but come very close by inches.

You will be done when your car is parallel with the curb.


Please place any step by step processes that might aid our survival during a zombie apocalypse.
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#2
Xfirekeenmike

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Laying on concrete I plunged my black tire string deep into a poorly reamed hole on my Kia Rio Cinco tire just three hours ago. The hole was tight. Failed attempt after failed attempt until every muscle in my body engaged. Pure ecstasy rushed all over my body with one last thrust, and I was done.

How to plug a tire punchered flat.

Fill a spritzer spray bottle with 5% dish detergent and water then spray inflated tire in search of bubbles. The bubbles help locate leak. Use needle nose pliers to extract any foreign object in tire. Next, with tool designed to ream, quickly plunge into hole. Push in and out several times. Leave reamer inside and reach for lubricating rubber glue solution and 4" black tire repair string. Take the 4" black tire repair string and thread it thru the T-handle plugger just like you would thread a needle. Now, coat the black tire repair string with lubricating rubber glue solution and lay it flat along the needle stem tool. This next step will require strength and or leverage. With T-handle plugger in your stong hand take out T-handle reamer with your other then ram into hole the lubricated 4" black tire string. Since 4 inches is theaded thru the T-handle plugger the new measured size is 2" long, and since you have to push it half way inside, only put the black tire string 1 inch deep inside the tire hole. Not necessary to wait for glue to dry so to finish job, cut exposed black tire string flush to tire with sharp knife. Lastly, blow tire to happy recommended air pressure ending.



I don't own any weapons like guns or huge knives so look forward to some step by step processes to read and learn from.
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#3
Texaxile

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Back itching? Easy, get one dismembered arm from a zombie, curl the hand inwards and scratch away at that "awkward" spot between the shoulders.

Or
If you have to change a wheel on a car which has punctured, loosen off the wheelnuts before jacking up the car, that way you won't be relying upon the brakes of the car and integrity of the jack as you undo the nuts.
If your car is overheating and the coolant is low, until you can get some water to add to it, turn the heaters up to max. This gives the cooling water more volume and reduces the engine temp. If it is a small leak , then the white of an egg will seal it as a temporary measure, after which you need to flush and repair and refill.
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I got me a plan - it's called "save ass"

#4
Xfirekeenmike

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How to drive a standard transmission automobile.


Press clutch petal comfortably with your left foot all the way in and leave it there while you start auto.

With clutch petal depressed move the stick shifter to 1st position.

That is your first gear and in order to move the vehicle you will and can just let out the clutch petal in smallest increments.

It is not necessary to apply gas just yet. If the engine cuts off, start process all over again.

The object is to let out the clutch petal in order to move the auto and once in top position with your left foot off clutch then apply gas with your right foot slowly.

As you apply gas the engine will get louder and louder. Search for an engine sound pitch as if to not work
engine hard.

With the knowledge above you can repeate the steps above to shift from one gear to the next.

The quicker you go thru the steps the faster you get the auto moving. Just remember to keep your eyes on the road.



How to hot wire any automobile.

Directly under speedometer dial dash steering column yank at random in search of two red wires. Cut and then touch them together to start engine on fire.
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#5
Valleyaggie

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How to drive a standard transmission automobile.


Press clutch petal comfortably with your left foot all the way in and leave it there while you start auto.

With clutch petal depressed move the stick shifter to 1st position.

That is your first gear and in order to move the vehicle you will and can just let out the clutch petal in smallest increments.

It is not necessary to apply gas just yet. If the engine cuts off, start process all over again.

The object is to let out the clutch petal in order to move the auto and once in top position with your left foot off clutch then apply gas with your right foot slowly.

As you apply gas the engine will get louder and louder. Search for an engine sound pitch as if to not work
engine hard.

With the knowledge above you can repeate the steps above to shift from one gear to the next.

The quicker you go thru the steps the faster you get the auto moving. Just remember to keep your eyes on the road.



How to hot wire any automobile.

Directly under speedometer dial dash steering column yank at random in search of two red wires. Cut and then touch them together to start engine on fire.

I think all people should learn to drive in a standard. The fact that most Americans can't drive a standard is sad.
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"My mind is my weapon ... and a mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

#6
Xfirekeenmike

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We got a dog because our children wanted, and now guess who takes care of her.

How to find the right dog and how to train it shit holding techniques.

Determine what gender, size, age and or where you plan on getting your dog and stick to it.

Females wont lift their leg to pee on furniture.
Adults are more calm.
Smaller size equals smaller everything.
Spayed so she won't leave and come back pregnant. Same applies for neutered only multiple pregnancies may result.
Rescue shelter because they do more for the animals than (insert story here)

It took us two months every other day visits to find an adult around 12 inches tall, and the spayed was included.

Feed according to size of their stomach is a good guide once a day or divide that amount for twice feeding times. That is considered a luxury compared to living wild so if you miss a day don't worry and don't over feed the following day.

You will need two types of kennels. One near bed and other in public family areas. They feel safest in there. The only time to latch the door is while you sleep or leave home. A latched pet in kennel far from any sleeping family member equals abandonment from the pack that your family has now become to it. When you wake or arrive home undo latch and take pet directly outside. You should watch to know what business they did and after that they can be trusted for four to six hours alone anywhere in the house.

latched in kennel a dogs bark is considerably lower in strangers danger situations, let alone a zombie apocalypse.
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#7
Texaxile

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When you say "stick shift" we say "manual transmission". The trick to learning is this:

Start engine, apply handbrake.

Depress clutch, engage first gear (1) or top left in the "H" gate on the top of the gearstick, then balance the engine revs at 1,500 rpm. Slowly lift clutch pedal until you feel the car gently urge forward, and the revs dropping. This is called the "biting point" of the clutch, and it's where the clutch is near to disengaging with the gearbox and allowing the car to move. Get used to finding the "biting point" on any manual car , it makes driving much easier.

Also, Reverse gear is very often located all the way across and down toward the driver on RHD cars, but on many LHD cars it's across and away, down toward the passenger. Many cars have an interlock which prevents reverse being accidently engaged, on , for example a BMW to select reverse you must also push the gear lever down at the same time selecting reverse, it's spring loaded and you can feel the resistance. This applies for Fords as well.

In the UK an Automatic Transmission is an expensive optional extra on a new car. 95%(ish) of the vehicles on the road here are manual transmission. Same applies to Europe.
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I got me a plan - it's called "save ass"

#8
Texaxile

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Spirits are not just good for drinking, they can be used to clean wounds as well, and sterilise medical instruments. Clear ones are best, vodka being number one.

Honey (pure natural) carries a lot of anti bacterial properties. It can be used as an antiseptic treatment for wounds, additionally, it is the only foodstuff known to man to have an indefinite shelf life. Honey found in an Egyptian tomb to be over 2000 years old was still edible and had not experienced any bacterial decay. It's a great survival food, a versatile item and a must for any bug out bag.



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I got me a plan - it's called "save ass"

#9
zombiekilling

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Stocking up in honey....who knew!
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#10
DominusPisces

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RAW honey only. Pasturized honey loses all antibacterial properties. Also honey CAN go bad if allowed to crystalyze and the liquid seperates out. If your honey crystalizes dip the bottle in warm water, stir until it is all 'liquid' and reseal
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Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray thee Lord these bites aren't deep.
Should I die before I wake, I pray thee Lord, my skull they break.


#11
Guest_CraigTNelsonMandela_*

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the more you know, and


#12
Texaxile

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RAW honey only. Pasturized honey loses all antibacterial properties. Also honey CAN go bad if allowed to crystalyze and the liquid seperates out. If your honey crystalizes dip the bottle in warm water, stir until it is all 'liquid' and reseal


Nope, even if it crystallises it doesn't go "off" and can still be eaten, regardless, although it might not be as palatable as if in liquid form. Raw honey crystallises much faster than treated, while it's properties change over time, it still remains edible. As long as the water content is kept below a certain % it can't then go on to ferment (it would still be edible even after fermenting) as nothing can survive in it.
Pasteurised honey still retains some limited antibacterial properties, but nowhere near as many as a raw or natural sourced one.
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I got me a plan - it's called "save ass"





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