Criticized For Being Childless

- - - - - childless rant

#26
Serenity@sea

Serenity@sea

    Do ya want a cookie?

  • Administrators
  • 9,857
My motto in life is to practice tolerance. Such a simple statement but can you imagine this world, if everyone was more tolerant of people's lifestyle choices?
  • 2

#27
Rick's Hat

Rick's Hat

    Roamer

  • Members
  • 506
  • LocationOver here going through your stuff
Quite a few of us!

Great responses.

How about..... "I was abducted by Aliens and they took my ovaries!"
  • 1

Crazy has come to town for a visit!!


#28
OMEN

OMEN

    Survivor

  • Members
  • 4,114
  • LocationBack in Gods Country - TEXAS
mexican culture is very bad about this, if you aint married and popping kids out....your parents will be on your ass about it.

as i stated above about my mom having a conniption about not giving her a granddaughter even though she has all together 6 grandkids 4 boys 2 girls

crazy lady


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
  • 0


#29
theglassintheguvseye

theglassintheguvseye

    Survivor

  • Members
  • 3,710
  • LocationEye Socket

mexican culture is very bad about this, if you aint married and popping kids out....your parents will be on your ass about it.

as i stated above about my mom having a conniption about not giving her a granddaughter even though she has all together 6 grandkids 4 boys 2 girls

crazy lady


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD


I feel ya, OMEN. Hubby is Portuguese and his mother was not vocal about it but she hates that we didn't give her grandchildren (or hated as she died 1 year ago on the 15th). She has 15 grandchildren but the fact that her baby boy didn't give her one bothered her, even though he did from a previous relationship actually. She wanted to see a grandchild from US. Damn Catholics, they're brutal, I tell ya.
  • 0

#30
mADAM Scorpious

mADAM Scorpious

    Biter

  • Members
  • 1,375
Dear intelligent people of the world, please procreate, lol Idiocracy is what happens when you let the plebs do all of the breeding...
Seriously tho live and let live, and try not to be judgemental of other's personal choices. It's not selfish to have children or not have children in general unless the decision was made specifically for a selfish reason.
  • 0
Madam Scorpious <~<133€
http://nythe-scorpious.blogspot.ca/

#31
gracie lou

gracie lou

    Glenn Groupie

  • Members
  • 7,641
  • Locationunder the comic covers

My motto in life is to practice tolerance. Such a simple statement but can you imagine this world, if everyone was more tolerant of people's lifestyle choices?


Yes; I try to be tolerant of small-minded, intolerant people. :lol:

The question of whether or not to have children is a personal choice. I don't understand why so many people think it is acceptable to give their opinion on someone's private business, when they haven't been asked. Especially, complete strangers.
  • 1


#32
stickoffury412

stickoffury412

    Survivor

  • Banned
  • 3,170
  • LocationCarol's hand
Sadly people are all about their opinions and like to flaunt them so the whole world can hear what they think. A lot of those people are self righteous and tend to look at others faults rather then worrying about their own. What can we do? Nothing
  • 0

#33
backwoodsroamer

backwoodsroamer

    The Amiable Roamer

  • Members
  • 4,589
  • LocationThe Isle of Misfit Toys

Yes; I try to be tolerant of small-minded, intolerant people. :lol:


Izzat why you've always gone light on me? :srug:
  • 1

"Kiss your Mother goodnight, and remember that God saves."

kxwjZFU.png


#34
Rick's Hat

Rick's Hat

    Roamer

  • Members
  • 506
  • LocationOver here going through your stuff
People always assume at our age we have grandchilden too. Er, we never had any kids. Hello!?

"My husband is actually my first cousin so we thought it best not to reproduce."

and if anybody says "really !?!" I'll slap you. :zombiethumbsup:
  • 2

Crazy has come to town for a visit!!


#35
gracie lou

gracie lou

    Glenn Groupie

  • Members
  • 7,641
  • Locationunder the comic covers

People always assume at our age we have grandchilden too. Er, we never had any kids. Hello!?

"My husband is actually my first cousin so we thought it best not to reproduce."

and if anybody says "really !?!" I'll slap you. :zombiethumbsup:


Haha!! That's a good one!!! :D
  • 0


#36
At Risk

At Risk

    Lurker

  • Members
  • 240
  • LocationIn a near-constant state of confusion
Without getting into too much detail because of the forum rules...

One of the most hurtful things I ever experienced concerning this issue was, more or less, being called "damaged" because I don't want children.

I was raised in a Catholic family (albeit, a very non-practicing one in many ways. The "faith" was there, but not so much the actions to back it up). Chalk it up to a poor education about the religion I was raised to follow, but it wasn't until a few years ago that I learned that if you do not want children, you may not be married within the church. I knew the Catholic church was pro-life. I knew it was, officially, against contraception. Obviously, add those two rules together and you've got a very likely formula for babymaking. That said, to be completely honest, I never thought too deeply on the subject (because it wasn't the first time I found myself uncomfortable or disagreeing). I assumed the reasoning behind the "no contraception" law was founded on archaic principles, or enforced as an extra deterrent for pre-marital sex (It's bad to use contraception, so it's DOUBLY bad to sleep around with someone you're not married to! You might end up with an "illegitimate" kid!).

Then one day, at a cafe, I was near a group of people who were discussing marriage. At one point, they were talking about some (admittedly, intentionally) childless couple, and something was said along the lines of, "Well, the purpose of marriage is children." And then it hit: "God created us to love and procreate. No one is made to not want kids. Anyone who doesn't want children is damaged."

Now, as I'm typing this, I don't really know how to put how I felt at that time into words... My best friends are an atheist, an agnostic, and a Baptist. When I told them about this, I got a universal, "That's bullshit." It was easy to laugh it off in their company, but when I was by myself, the words were still under my skin. If you're atheist and reading this, you're probably getting a chuckle, feeling disgusted, or rolling your eyes at all of this. I wouldn't blame you. There are a lot of things I've disagreed with and experienced that have disillusioned and distanced me from what I was raised to believe. That said, it still hurts to hear, "Hey, that big family that you're always told you're a part of? Turns out they think you're damaged because of your choices."

I worked overseas in Japan for a while. While there, I got my share of negative discrimination as well as positive. Any time something less pleasant happened, I always thought to myself, "Wow... so this is the barest sliver of what some people have to go through their entire life back home." In this case, it was the same. It was like the tinest, most infinitesimal peek at what people who victims of religious discrimination, of any kind, must go through.

I felt wounded. And so, when I brought the topic up around a couple of people (all of whom are atheists) a bit later, I was hoping to get some joking at religious extremists' expense to soften the remaining bad feelings. Instead, their replies were a collective, "Most married couples who don't want children are the products of a bad family or environment."

I felt bad. Let the subject drop. ... and after a while, the more I thought about it, the more pissed I got.

You see, here's the thing - my life is a long shot from a picture perfect upbringing. Divorce, drugs, death, alcohol, destruction and economic struggle. I wasn't a Dixon or a Peletier but I could have been a nextdoor neighbor. I can count on one hand the number of people I've revealed details of my past to offline, and it's because I'm painfully, incessantly paranoid about being judged for my past. Hard work, decent dna, and having some very loving people and encouragement in my life helped me to become who I am and keep from repeating the mistakes I and hardships I saw.

... which is why the more I thought about it, the more I became totally indignant that someone would have the nerve to slap such a bitter, negative label on me, and people like me, because of my choice not to have children. Yes, in part, how I was raised contributed to the person I've grown into. But I have never, ever thought my past was a direct cause of me not wanting children. I LOVE travel. I love living in busy, can-hardly-shoulder-your-way-through-a-crowd kind of cities. I like late nights and spontaneity and having my time be mine. And yes, perhaps that's because I lacked many of those things while growing up - but you know, I'm not so sure that I wouldn't love the same things even if I did have a Full House experience.

But even if my past is my main deterrent to having kids - why does that make me damaged? Our pasts, good or bad, have a place in shaping all of us. If we grow up to be decent people who live our lives as best we can and treat others well in the process, how can anyone call us damaged? Or selfish? Or irresponsible? Or any other insult that people arm themselves with?

Whew - alright, hell of a venting session right there, sorry about that!

The long and short of it - no one knows the reason behind your choices better than you, and that lady sounds like a butthead.
  • 5

#37
theglassintheguvseye

theglassintheguvseye

    Survivor

  • Members
  • 3,710
  • LocationEye Socket
At Risk, you are soooo right. In short, much of humanity consists of petty, conformist assholes. If you even put a toe outside of the Beaver Cleaver existence box, you're a pariah. We can be pariahs together if ya want.
  • 1

#38
mADAM Scorpious

mADAM Scorpious

    Biter

  • Members
  • 1,375
At risk, you are soo not damaged! Your level head and ability to take a step back and analyze your life/society/people is a testimony to that.
I hate when somebody says one little thoughtless rude remark and it sticks to your ribs. I'm really bothered by a comment on here about how anyone who brings a child into this kind of world is selfish. It left me feeling like I need to defend my daughter's existence. I try not to judge anyone's personal decisions that don't affect anyone but the decider, the original poster started this because they were sick of being judged for not having kids, so I tried to lend some kind words and a balanced view of the situation, but some of these comments are just as bad to me as a mother as the comments people get for choosing not to have children and it hurts. My daughter wasn't planned, but she was/is wanted, I am pro-choice and having my daughter was my choice, it may have been my selfish choice to keep her, but in giving her life I have given her the greatest gift and that's freewill. And I know this world is ugly but I'm preparing her for it and i'd like to think that I'm raising someone who could help the world(she is seriously the sweetest most caring and generous little person ever, how many 3 year olds would willingly give their toys to other impoverished kids?). I love my life and I love being a mom and I'm super lucky to have such an amazing kid, and my life is better because of her, everyday is magical and new and fun,without her i'd be a lot more well-rested, drunk more often and i'd have the option of moving out of Canada, so the trade is well worth it.
Anyways, just because I'm happy raising my awesome little person, doesn't mean I think everyone ought to go out and have kids so I won't look down on anyone who doesn't want kids and inturn I don't want to be criticized for my choice to bring one awesome little person into this world by someone has chosen not to.

  • 2
Madam Scorpious <~<133€
http://nythe-scorpious.blogspot.ca/

#39
TangoJ

TangoJ

    Biter

  • Members
  • 955
  • LocationNortheast Texas
At Risk, I am SO sorry you had to hear that from someone, and I'm even sorrier that it hurt you so much. What an utter load of crap! "Most couples who don't want children are the products of a bad family or environment."??? Where are they getting these "statistics" from? Their own inability to imagine a reproductive choice different from their own, most likely. Yes, my husband had a horrible childhood, but he loves kids and probably would have some of his own if he were married to someone who wanted them. I, on the other hand, had a wonderful childhood and wonderful parents, but I'M the one who is more adamantly against having kids, for many of the same reasons you listed. I like my sleep. I like my freedom. I like being able to go to a movie or out to dinner or for a drink with friends whenever I want. I like my life and my marriage just the way they are. My choice not to have children is no reflection on my upbringing AT ALL. Now, I'm mad FOR you. :angry:


Pariahs, unite! And thank you to all on here with kids who have expressed respect and understanding.
  • 2
"Yeah, well, it could be a flower."

#40
theglassintheguvseye

theglassintheguvseye

    Survivor

  • Members
  • 3,710
  • LocationEye Socket
I don't think that post was intended to sound quite the way it came off, Madam. I feel that ME having children would be selfish. Lots of bad genes in my pool so I leave it to others to keep populating the Earth and hope that they're mostly good people having kids. I have no doubt that I would be a wonderful mother but worry that my children would inherit some very undesirable traits from various lines in my family. Addiction and suicide are extremely prevalent. Basically, we're too smart to find happiness. I got lucky and got the dumb gene or enough of it to maintain a semblance of happiness, thank goodness.
  • 0

#41
TangoJ

TangoJ

    Biter

  • Members
  • 955
  • LocationNortheast Texas

At risk, you are soo not damaged! Your level head and ability to take a step back and analyze your life/society/people is a testimony to that.
I hate when somebody says one little thoughtless rude remark and it sticks to your ribs. I'm really bothered by a comment on here about how anyone who brings a child into this kind of world is selfish. It left me feeling like I need to defend my daughter's existence. I try not to judge anyone's personal decisions that don't affect anyone but the decider, the original poster started this because they were sick of being judged for not having kids, so I tried to lend some kind words and a balanced view of the situation, but some of these comments are just as bad to me as a mother as the comments people get for choosing not to have children and it hurts. My daughter wasn't planned, but she was/is wanted, I am pro-choice and having my daughter was my choice, it may have been my selfish choice to keep her, but in giving her life I have given her the greatest gift and that's freewill. And I know this world is ugly but I'm preparing her for it and i'd like to think that I'm raising someone who could help the world(she is seriously the sweetest most caring and generous little person ever, how many 3 year olds would willingly give their toys to other impoverished kids?). I love my life and I love being a mom and I'm super lucky to have such an amazing kid, and my life is better because of her, everyday is magical and new and fun,without her i'd be a lot more well-rested, drunk more often and i'd have the option of moving out of Canada, so the trade is well worth it.
Anyways, just because I'm happy raising my awesome little person, doesn't mean I think everyone ought to go out and have kids so I won't look down on anyone who doesn't want kids and inturn I don't want to be criticized for my choice to bring one awesome little person into this world by someone has chosen not to.


You are absolutely right. Those of us chiming in here without kids know what being judged and labeled is like, and we don't enjoy it. It makes me happy to hear how happy YOU are, and your little girl sounds wonderful. Different people, different choices, and that's what it's all about. I, for one, don't consider you selfish at all. I consider you a good mom. Every child deserves that.
  • 1
"Yeah, well, it could be a flower."

#42
theglassintheguvseye

theglassintheguvseye

    Survivor

  • Members
  • 3,710
  • LocationEye Socket

People always assume at our age we have grandchilden too. Er, we never had any kids. Hello!?

"My husband is actually my first cousin so we thought it best not to reproduce."

and if anybody says "really !?!" I'll slap you. :zombiethumbsup:


What made me guffaw on this one is that my father almost DID marry his 1st cousin. That's Missouri for ya! :zombie02:
  • 0

#43
mADAM Scorpious

mADAM Scorpious

    Biter

  • Members
  • 1,375
My rant was in regards to previous comments, not trying to bash you glass in the eye, or anyone really, just relating my own hurt at being called selfish for being a mother just like how at risk felt hurt for being called damaged bc they don't want kids. I'm sorry that suicide and addiction are so prevailent in your family.
  • 0
Madam Scorpious <~<133€
http://nythe-scorpious.blogspot.ca/

#44
TangoJ

TangoJ

    Biter

  • Members
  • 955
  • LocationNortheast Texas

What made me guffaw on this one is that my father almost DID marry his 1st cousin. That's Missouri for ya! :zombie02:


I thought that was Arkansas? ;)
  • 0
"Yeah, well, it could be a flower."

#45
theglassintheguvseye

theglassintheguvseye

    Survivor

  • Members
  • 3,710
  • LocationEye Socket

My rant was in regards to previous comments, not trying to bash you glass in the eye, or anyone really, just relating my own hurt at being called selfish for being a mother just like how at risk felt hurt for being called damaged bc they don't want kids. I'm sorry that suicide and addiction are so prevailent in your family.


I know you weren't bashing me. I just didn't want you to be hurt. This is such a delicate issue for both the childless and the parents. Much like religion, people's views are quite strong and both sides have been told hurtful things so nerves get struck pretty quickly. And it's ok about my fam. I'm still here and have no intention of giving up my wine or offing myself anytime soon. :mikemani:
  • 1

#46
backwoodsroamer

backwoodsroamer

    The Amiable Roamer

  • Members
  • 4,589
  • LocationThe Isle of Misfit Toys
Now see, here's a perfect example of what happens when you let women go larking about and speaking their minds. They start to complain and be ingrates. First we had Valleyaggie complaining about her husband and now this mess. Of course women should have children. It's one of the few things they can do right. Well the pretty ones should have children anyway. The homely ones shouldn't be allowed to reproduce. Best to breed that trait out. That trait for being mouthy should also be gotten rid of.
  • 3

"Kiss your Mother goodnight, and remember that God saves."

kxwjZFU.png


#47
theglassintheguvseye

theglassintheguvseye

    Survivor

  • Members
  • 3,710
  • LocationEye Socket
Cracks flower pot over BWR's head.
  • 2

#48
backwoodsroamer

backwoodsroamer

    The Amiable Roamer

  • Members
  • 4,589
  • LocationThe Isle of Misfit Toys

Cracks flower pot over BWR's head.


Huh! What? Was it something I said?
  • 1

"Kiss your Mother goodnight, and remember that God saves."

kxwjZFU.png


#49
theglassintheguvseye

theglassintheguvseye

    Survivor

  • Members
  • 3,710
  • LocationEye Socket
No, it was the fact that you in no way offered to help this pretty girl have any babies. OF COURSE IT WAS WHAT YOU SAID!! :whip2:
  • 3

#50
theblackboxlies

theblackboxlies

    Top of the Food Chain

  • Members
  • 18,937
  • Locationಠ_ರೃ
lol i'm not touching that one.
  • 1





Welcome to RoamersAndLurkers.com, the largest walking dead forum and discussion board online. If you are a fan of AMC's The Walking Dead or Robert Kirkman's The Walking Dead Comic Book, we invite you to peruse and enjoy our discussion board, and don't be afraid of joining in!