Alien Abduction Proof

- - - - - aliens body

#1
Xfirekeenmike

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Walked to work yesterday and upon arrival my routine is shower, dress and work. Hot day in particular and I had a 19 inch fan on in the restroom. For years I towel dry off and wipe with a portion of toilet paper. The toilet paper used most always is either in the toilet or waste basket. The problem and most likely my proof of alien abduction was and is my dry ass. Never wipe my crack with a towel because that is just rude. With underwear on and pants up one leg I began to look for toilet paper in toilet and waste basket with no avail. Reason I searched? Why was my ass dry? I shower with water and my ass is so wet I can put out a small fire. Are aliens using my body for sex? I think so.
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#2
President Merle

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#3
BeauL83

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Ummmm, WTF!!!
I don't even know.
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I Believe In Rick Grimes

#4
I_Follow_You_Axel

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"I ain't walking out to the woods to get my pecker bit off by a roamer, you follow me?"
- Axel (Who else, really?)

#5
Matt

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Xfirekeenmike for the WIN :D
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#6
Catch77

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Xfirekeenmike, I understand what you are going through, I really do. Because I too was the victim of an attempted alien abduction. Twice! Me and a few gal pals were sitting in the garden one night, having a few cheeky glasses of classy red wine and I looked up at the sky and was nearly abducted. A flash, a green flash zoomed past in the sky. None of my girlfriends saw it but I did. I pushed them all inside and we locked the doors and turned out the lights.

The second occasion still haunts me to this day, sometimes. I'm in the ghetto, I'm looking for fabric. There are crack whores everywhere. Oh hey ghetto slum lord. Then all of a sudden this flashing light catches the corner of my eye. Its in the sky. My eyes follow it carefully. It goes behind a tree and then doesn't appear again. I am convinced it was a flying UFO attempting to kidnap anyone it could.

Now gurl this isn't the first time I have very nearly been kidnapped but it was still a very terrifying experience. My advice to any sista or brotha out there who sees a ufo. Run. Run into a group of people. If you are alone you will get taken and very possibly tortured.


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#7
That Guy

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I never know whether you're serious or not. This one's so silly I think you have to be bullshitting.
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#8
gracie lou

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I never know whether you're serious or not. This one's so silly I think you have to be bullshitting.


I'm sure her gurl, Zelda or Father Tunde can back up her story.

Also, I may be humor impaired, but I'm really starting to worry about some people 'round these parts.
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#9
theblackboxlies

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Me too, Gracie, me too. Tin foil hat area! Haha
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#10
Catch77

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I never know whether you're serious or not. This one's so silly I think you have to be bullshitting.


Oh my GAWD. Are you referring to me? Or our brotha freemike? My 2 separate occasions are real and I did experience them. I wish I had a video camera to record the occasions but I did not. I am a woman of the Lord and lying is not my game.

I'm sure her gurl, Zelda or Father Tunde can back up her story.

Also, I may be humor impaired, but I'm really starting to worry about some people 'round these parts.


Gracie, I never knew you were eating sarcastic sandwiches. I never even mentioned Zelda in my experiences. I think you are being rude. Manners cost nothing Gracie Lou Lou.
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#11
I_Follow_You_Axel

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Exactly who is Zelda anyway? I always think of this whenever you mention your princess gurl.

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"I ain't walking out to the woods to get my pecker bit off by a roamer, you follow me?"
- Axel (Who else, really?)

#12
theblackboxlies

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Haha, why do I feel like I'm on an episode of COPS?
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#13
Catch77

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Excuse me, I know I am a generally happy peep but I don't see the funny side when you constantly bringing up one of my good friends Zelda for no reason. I have mentioned her before when I have been explaining my stories. Not to make jokes out of. I would not keep mentioning anyone elses friend on this site. And saying she's my 'princess' too? I think its quite disrespectful and not amusing. To others it may be, but maybe you should look at it from my perspective.
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#14
That Guy

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I was actually referring to the OP when I said bullshitting, but I am also having a hard time believing your story, Catch baby. I do believe that there is life somewhere other than on our earth, but to imply that they are here and abducting people? Nah. I want some concrete and/or scientific proof before I believe in anything.
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#15
Catch77

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I was actually referring to the OP when I said bullshitting, but I am also having a hard time believing your story, Catch baby. I do believe that there is life somewhere other than on our earth, but to imply that they are here and abducting people? Nah. I want some concrete and/or scientific proof before I believe in anything.


Oh I hear you baby, I do. I totally understand that people have different views on things and what not. I've been gifted with a wide range of views and opinions. We are cool honey
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#16
theblackboxlies

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Theres some interesting talk about alien abduction in the conspiracy theory thread.
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#17
gracie lou

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Oh my GAWD. Are you referring to me? Or our brotha freemike? My 2 separate occasions are real and I did experience them. I wish I had a video camera to record the occasions but I did not. I am a woman of the Lord and lying is not my game.



Gracie, I never knew you were eating sarcastic sandwiches. I never even mentioned Zelda in my experiences. I think you are being rude. Manners cost nothing Gracie Lou Lou.


Oh, I must have been blending this story with the one where you stopped the knife fight.
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#18
Catch77

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Oh, I must have been blending this story with the one where you stopped the knife fight.


Oh I know what you are referring to. I wrote about my experience where I had to stop a knife fight in the 'Mods are awesome thread' (I think that is what it is called). Everyone, check it out and feel free to private message me anyone for advice. I'm always here for you brotha's and sista's
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#19
Xfirekeenmike

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Tried to recreate same situation and found interesting results. As always, I clear tub of hairs and most of time I do it with my last wet foot and running water. On occasion I forget and have to bend over and wipe with one hand the hairs in the direction of the drain. Only this time while bending over I realized how.
Topic solved. It was the fan in the bathroom, not aliens the reason how dry I am.

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#20
I_Follow_You_Axel

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Well...case closed. And topic closed. Seriously, my sanity can't take any more of this.
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"I ain't walking out to the woods to get my pecker bit off by a roamer, you follow me?"
- Axel (Who else, really?)





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