Well, here's a rant for Monday morning and it's a long one. I know many of you have your issues with her exes, so here's mine:
This happened over the weekend actually. Wound up checking my e-mail on Saturday afternoon and my day was going great and then I see an e-mail from my ex-wife. I haven't seen her in person for probably 2+ years at this point, and hadn't had responded to any communication with her since April or so of last year. The no contact thing has been great.
Maybe a little history would help for anyone unfamiliar with my stories about this. We were together a total of 5 and a half years, only married for about a year and a half before we separated/divorced. In the end of the marriage I was miserable and had endured years of emotional/mental and occasional physical abuse from her. Surprisingly she had broached the subject of divorce, though manipulated me into saying I wanted it, which I did as I saw it as my opportunity to get out of an abusive relationship/marriage. Afterwards we decided to stay "friends" but really the only time's I saw her or dealt with her was for divorce/financial separation stuff/moving things out of the apartment we used to share. She wound up dating again almost immediately and got into a steady relationship with a new guy less than 2 months after our separation. Nothing wrong with that, I just find it interesting how quickly she moved on. Me on the other hand, I waited about 8-9 months.
I later found out she originally met this guy shortly after we married at a bar and he made it pretty clear he was into her. So, after finding out about that it wasn't surprising she wound up with him. Makes me wonder if there was any cheating going on. Especially since there had been a rumor a few years before then that she had cheated on me with some guy she was friends with and then would frequently accusing me of cheating on her. Anyway, this new guy and her dated for about 4 months and I noticed all the love-bombing between them on Facebook and other social media, how this guy "saved her" and she's never "loved anymore more" etc. and they got engaged a couple weeks after our divorce was finalized. I remember her sister had offered me a piece of furniture around this time (late October/early November) and my ex and her new guy offered to drop it off at my new apartment I was in at the time. I noticed a weird tension and awkwardness, and after they dropped off the furniture they left. About 15 minutes later I got a text from her explaining that "she felt awkward saying it in person but her and the new guy just got engaged and that it feels so right and it's what she wants." I burst out laughing and just thought to myself, this guy has no idea what he's in for.
After that, every now and then I would see her shit-talking or bashing her husband-to-be all over social media if he "screwed something up" or did something "wrong" and how she gets "treated poorly all the time." I mean maybe the guy is an asshole. I don't know, I only met him a couple times and he seemed pretty nice. I have to say, with the amount of abuse she gave to me, I was lucky that she didn't really post anything public, defaming me or anything like that. Fast forward to the next summer, 2015 and they get married (even after she talked shit about him not 2 days before their nuptials publicly on FB (never mind them trying to invite me, which I think there's a rant about that here somewhere) and she gets knocked up almost immediately. It seemed more and more frequent that she would be saying shitty things about her now husband and playing the victim. Not surprising, but seeing that definitely reaffirmed my suspicions that she had something wrong with her. Even the light suggestion to her of seeking therapy would send her into rages.
A few months after their child was born, late summer last year, I noticed she had a huge, HUGE meltdown all over Facebook and had a very public fight with her husband and she started threatening suicide. It was pretty crazy stuff. Apparently her family stepped in (finally and mostly I assume because of the baby). I'm guessing they blamed it on postpartum depression, however I'd experienced several fights with her like that where her solution to getting her way in an argument was to emotionally blackmail and threaten suicide, or threaten to tell my family what a piece of shit I was because of whatever reason she concocted and she definitely was not postpartum then because we never had children together. After this she deactivated her Facebook page, presumably to delete any evidence of the fight. Maybe so her baby wouldn't be taken away by DCF? Or so that she wouldn't look crazy to other people. But the damage was done. She unfriended everyone except for a few key people and family members apparently. From what I gathered it seemed like she might have finally sought therapy and got medicated.
Fast forward to a couple months ago and she sends me a text asking about symptoms for this vertigo type virus I had years ago while we were together because now she has contracted something similar. I ignored the text and blocked her number. Mainly because I'd been enjoying the no contact as I've moved on with my life and have a wonderful partner now who respects and adores me and treats me as an equal and not like a garbage can. Another reason that text pissed me off was that while I was sick she didn't help me out at all while I was sick and even accused me of faking my symptoms and that I should "man up and not be a pussy." It wasn't under several doctors visits and an ER trip that she realized I wasn't faking it. And it was my neighbor's friend at the time who took me to the ER. A total stranger showed more kindness than her.
Now, back to the original point of this rant. Last week I get social media requests from her out of nowhere. So I'm like "Nope." and declined and decided it would be best to block her because I don't want the contact. Probably should have done it months ago, but she hadn't really been bugging me, so I figured I wouldn't need to work. Any time she's popped up it just brings back memories of the pain and hurt she caused me for all those years and I don't want anything to do with it. So this past weekend, I'm having a good day and check my e-mail and see one from her. I almost deleted it before reading, but caved to reading it. It was essentially her asking what happened and wanting to know why I blocked her and that she "almost killed herself" last year and was in a much better head space now and that among all the former friends of hers that have blocked her me doing it "hurts the most." I was like wow, first of all this is pretty fucking manipulative, especially with the supposed attempted-suicide thing to make me feel bad enough so I'd talk to her. It's like, Nope sorry, not responding. I never had kids with her and I don't owe her a damn thing. It's up to her how she chooses to react to that. I'm sure ultimately she just wanted to be nosy, but I just don't want to let that drama back into my life. Part of me feels bad, but more of me is like you're making the right choice.
Anyway, tl;dr: No contact with ex-wife for a long time, she tries adding me on social media and I block her. Guilt-tripping and manipulative e-mail ensues, to which I ignore.
Happy Monday!