Random Rantings!!

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#1476
Steph

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Thanks guys. Sorry to unload like that, I know talking about death is heavy. 


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#1477
theblackboxlies

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Sorry to hear that, Steph :0( death is never easy to deal with
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#1478
backwoodsroamer

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Evening all. Must've been about 2 years since my last post... but it's good to be back. This isn't a rant so much, but rather something I wish to put out there - even if it's ignored by everyone - just to feel like I've said to someone who isn't myself.

 

Let me start by saying I've never really found it easy to express or share my feelings and true emotions with others - I possess secrets and feelings which no one human is 100% aware of. See, going through life (well, my current 22 years), I have developed the marvellous ability to metaphorically wear the mask of trickery. Everyone could probably think of a different word to describe me, but 9/10 of them would be positive words. My friends think I'm energetic and some kind of social god, and my family think I'm always positive. The thing is, what lurks beneath (pardon the pun) the façade is something/someone I struggle to recognize more and more over time.

 

Going back to the start of that first paragraph, I've always struggled to open up to other people (or at least, people who I actually know in real life/person). Due to personal experiences, I struggle greatly to trust others - which in turn has effected aspects in my life such as social situations, relationships, and giving heart-to-hearts (though I can strangely confess this through mediums of technology...). Everyone I do manage to converse with will tell me at some point how I "need to open up", or how I should "talk to an expert/specialist". But that's where it gets funny for me... I wouldn't even categorize myself as a mental or physical threat to myself, let alone anyone else. I wouldn't say I suffer with any form of depression (though I did have a patch a few years back which sparked a few symptoms... but I guess if I was that bad, I wouldn't be able to pretend about my emotions enough to get through these years without having to ever saying anything more than "I'm alright").

 

On the subject of emotions, I tend to feel little true emotions these days. At times I find myself questioning if I'm even normal, all because I can see all the criminality and darkness in the news, yet I don't even bat an eyelid. I am unfazed by all of the horror going on around us - in fact, it's what I expect. All I tend to see are people killing and people dying, all because of/over their opinions. I can't even log into Facebook or Twitter without seeing how "all of this demographic range are ______", or how "______ is wrong, you should do this instead". Don't get me wrong, I'm all for freedom of speech, but sometimes I can't help but to take a step back and look at humanity as it tears itself apart. Again, please don't get me wrong - I don't wish to sound like I think of myself as higher than anyone... I know I'm one of the many demons on this planet. Maybe it's just where I'm from, but the people around me make it extremely difficult for me to befriend or find attraction to others...

 

Part of me is intrigued by this current metamorphosis I'm going through. Maybe it's a phase, maybe I have a valid point about some of my feelings... maybe I'm just sulking over something which happened years ago... Anyway, I should probably reassure anyone reading this that I'm mentally stable, and am in no need of any kind of therapist, Samaritan, or any other self-help organization (maybe one day, if I can learn to open up, I can take up a friend on an offer of being a ear to listen!) Also, this isn't a cry for help - I gave up that years ago - it's pretty much a catharsis similar to the final monologue of Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. This confession means little-to-nothing, and I expect no reaction. It's just nice to write this down instead of reliving it again and again in my head!

 

Oh R&L, how I've missed thee!

 

Hi Mr. President. Long time no see. Would have responded sooner, but I lost my internet connection for a while.

 

I find what you say strangely reminiscent of my life. I never thought much about my emotions until I was your age. I then realized I really didn't have any. That was curious, but didn't work very well for me. Deciding that "to get along in this institution you go along" I built a personality. It took me a few years to study other people and piece together a pleasant, affable character that slides easily through life.

 

Some years later a government psychiatrist said I was a case of SPD. Some of it is very close, Some of it, not so much.

 

 

http://psychcentral....r-symptoms/    

 

Anyway it's been so long I don't even remember all that much about my personality from the old days. Probably wasn't that much to remember truth be known.

 

Your life most likely has many years left. Mine is close to it's end. My life was "tolerable" as we say here in the South. I hope yours turns out the same or better. Good luck.  


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"Kiss your Mother goodnight, and remember that God saves."

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#1479
limaro

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My feet hurt.

 

More of a whine, really than a rant. But nobody wants a "random whining" thread.  Not even me, and I'm the one doing the whining.

 

Let me try again.  

 

My feet hurt, dammit!

 

Better?


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“That wasn't any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery.”
― Stephen King, The Stand


#1480
KidSeventySeven

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I somehow managed to tangle my thumb up in my hair, caught it in a snag and ripped a chunk out. Don't even ask, haha. It hurt and everybody laughed at me because it was just so absurd...jerks.  :rolleyes: 


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Jon is fine, dammit.

#1481
theblackboxlies

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Ouch, dude. Makes me think of the episode of Always Sunny when they're at the boardwalk and Dee and Dennis go on that ride that takes you up high and drops real fast and Dee gets her hair stuck and it rips out a chunk of her hair/scalp when the ride drops. hahahaha.


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#1482
backwoodsroamer

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I somehow managed to tangle my thumb up in my hair, caught it in a snag and ripped a chunk out. Don't even ask, haha. It hurt and everybody laughed at me because it was just so absurd...jerks.  :rolleyes: 

 

I'm so sorry Dear Child. I would never laugh at you over such a thing. 

 

I have a exasperated head shake accompanied by a groan like Lurch from "The Adams Family" used to make for these occasions.

 

Your Mama Glass knows it well.  :zombiethumbsup:


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"Kiss your Mother goodnight, and remember that God saves."

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#1483
Serenity@sea

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I had a weird accident this morning too. Someone gave us one of those doggie stairs (for them to climb into bed). I didn't really want it because my dog can jump onto the bed, she just gets lazy and wants us to pick her up. Which is weird because she hates to be picked up. They are also so big and bulky. Anyway, we discovered that she likes going up and down the stairs.

So, this morning I stumble out of bed, trip over the stairs and went head first into the wall. :wacko2:  haha


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#1484
backwoodsroamer

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I had a weird accident this morning too. Someone gave us one of those doggie stairs (for them to climb into bed). I didn't really want it because my dog can jump onto the bed, she just gets lazy and wants us to pick her up. Which is weird because she hates to be picked up. They are also so big and bulky. Anyway, we discovered that she likes going up and down the stairs.

So, this morning I stumble out of bed, trip over the stairs and went head first into the wall. :wacko2:  haha

 

They are in the way a lot, but I have a new appreciation of them. My little terrier mix Ricky who lives with my ex wife is only ten pounds and is really bouncy came up with a herniated disc in his back last week.

 

He has to stay in a crate for a month until it heals. :(

 

Sooooo......maybe you should keep the stairs. I have a few extra helmets cause I fall down a lot. I could send you one to wear around the house. :zombiethumbsup:  


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"Kiss your Mother goodnight, and remember that God saves."

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#1485
Serenity@sea

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They are in the way a lot, but I have a new appreciation of them. My little terrier mix Ricky who lives with my ex wife is only ten pounds and is really bouncy came up with a herniated disc in his back last week.

 

He has to stay in a crate for a month until it heals. :(

 

Sooooo......maybe you should keep the stairs. I have a few extra helmets cause I fall down a lot. I could send you one to wear around the house. :zombiethumbsup:  

Aw. Poor puppy. Hope he heals quickly.

 

Once I saw how much she liked going up and down the stairs, I decided to keep them. So, maybe I will take you up on your helmet offer.

Also, because she is a fattie and could use the exercise. :D

It's funny to watch her go up the stairs. Because she has gained a little extra weight, she needed to get a running start to jump on the bed. She still thinks she needs that running start to go up the stairs.


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#1486
backwoodsroamer

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Aw. Poor puppy. Hope he heals quickly.

 

Once I saw how much she liked going up and down the stairs, I decided to keep them. So, maybe I will take you up on your helmet offer.

Also, because she is a fattie and could use the exercise. :D

It's funny to watch her go up the stairs. Because she has gained a little extra weight, she needed to get a running start to jump on the bed. She still thinks she needs that running start to go up the stairs.

 

I was dog sitting my son's Beagle/Bassett mix once. He is rather tubby and short of leg. He ambled into the living room one night when I was sitting on the couch. I patted the couch beside me. He looked delighted, came running, gave a mighty leap, and crashed into the front of the couch about a foot off the floor. :srug: 

 

After being snatched up and checked for injury he sat on my lap looking confused and cross eyed for a minute. He then settled in for a nap. I decided he probably wasn't a candidate for Doggy Olympics. :D     


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"Kiss your Mother goodnight, and remember that God saves."

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#1487
limaro

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My shepherd mix only jumps on the  couch when invited. She's 15 now, and slowing down a bit.  She started giving me a serious WTF look when I'd issue the invitation.   "Do I have to?"  I asked DH to build her some doggy stairs.  He  was being funny and piled the cushions from the chairs up for her,  in a makeshift staircase.  She actually used it. For a while,  when I patted the couch, she'd turn and wait for DH to get the cushions set up.  Finally we just started leaving them there.   

At least it's soft if I trip over it!

If anybody ever stopped by unexpectedly, this is actually one of the least weird accommodations they'd find for the dog.


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“That wasn't any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery.”
― Stephen King, The Stand


#1488
theglassintheguvseye

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Funny, BWR gave me a black eye and a fractured nose last night, trying to spare my face from a "God Forbid", not so soft mattress.  I would like to be your dogs, ladies.


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#1489
KidSeventySeven

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Funny, BWR gave me a black eye and a fractured nose last night, trying to spare my face from a "God Forbid", not so soft mattress.  I would like to be your dogs, ladies.

 

Jesus, are you okay? I  know which parent I get my grace from now. That's sarcasm, so there's no confusion. A three legged dog has more grace than I do.  :rolleyes: 


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Jon is fine, dammit.

#1490
theglassintheguvseye

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Jesus, are you okay? I  know which parent I get my grace from now. That's sarcasm, so there's no confusion. A three legged dog has more grace than I do.  :rolleyes: 

You have seen me dance, child.  I am fine.  It was one of those " I can straighten this shit out mahself" kinda nose breaks.  No biggie except that I'm in Cowtown right now and appear to be abused by my beloved.  Meh. 


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#1491
KidSeventySeven

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You have seen me dance, child.  I am fine.  It was one of those " I can straighten this shit out mahself" kinda nose breaks.  No biggie except that I'm in Cowtown right now and appear to be abused by my beloved.  Meh. 

 

You tell Pops he owes you a nice dinner and a seven stanza poem about your beauty and donkey riding abilities. 


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Jon is fine, dammit.

#1492
JesusMonroe

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Welp, college decision time

 

I ended up getting waitlisted at a lot of schools but right now the three big ones I got into are Hamilton, Northeastern, and SUNY Binghamton. Hamilton is probably the least likely since it's pretty expensive and I want a little more variety than liberal arts

 

Northeastern is less expensive than Hamilton but still kind of expensive, and I'm not even sure if I want to pursue the major I signed up for anymore

 

Binghamton is a great school and all and I don't want to sound really selfish and conceited but...I don't know. It would feel a little disheartening to go there, knowing that I could've put in half the work during high school just to get the same result

 

Anyway, I'm obviously not asking anyone here to make the decision for me but maybe some input if you've heard about these schools or just have any advice on the decision process in general

 

(My big hope is that some of my waitlists turn into acceptances but whatever)


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Imagine a group of a hundred motorcycles driving down a freeway. Eventually, they hit a junction. One road goes northwest and the other goes northeast. So one guy, we'll call him S, says, "Let's go northwest!" A mile past the intersection, a semi careens into the group and kills ninety of them. Ten are wounded, but they survive and keep going. Eventually, they hit 10,000 miles. S suddenly has his consciousness thrown into his past body right before the junction. Now, he says, "Let's go northeast!" All 100 bikers survive. Happily ever after, right? But what about the ten, no nine, who went northwest and survived? What happens to the reality they were living? Does it just disappear now that S has changed the past? It's not like only bad things happened on that 10,000 mile journey. Maybe one of them fell in love with a gas station attendant and got her pregnant or maybe one adopted a homeless kid that joined the adventure. That 10,000 mile journey would be full of stories. Romances, farewells, friendships...the loss of those ninety lives is horrible and unfortunate, but what would rewriting their history mean? The nine who survived lived full lives and did the best they could with the hand they were dealt. How could it be right to just erase all that? Isn't that worth something? Is there a point to a world where everything is happy? Are people who struggle for a better life just idiots? Being human is about fighting even when it seems hopeless and finding happiness in a world that hates it. Are you saying that's worthless?


#1493
D_Piece

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Have you visited each campus? One of the biggest factors influencing my decision was feeling relatively comfortable in a new environment. I had to choose between a college in the LA area or Humber in Toronto. I spent a week in Toronto trying to get a feel for everything and I did NOT enjoy it. I know what I'm about to say reeks of gouda, but it needs to be said...do what you're passionate about. Fuck the economic viability of a degree. Better to be doing something you love and be in debt than to do something that makes you miserable and still be in debt. If you're unsure what excites you, I'd suggest community college. I know most people don't want to do that. I didn't. However, had I known then what I know now, I would be in a much better place in life. Hindsight blah blah. Every place is going to have its pros and cons. Ultimately, one place is going to feel right. Go with your mind's gut. If it betrays you, punish it with copious amounts of drugs and alcohol. 


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#1494
Mr. NomNom

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Have you visited each campus? One of the biggest factors influencing my decision was feeling relatively comfortable in a new environment. I had to choose between a college in the LA area or Humber in Toronto. I spent a week in Toronto trying to get a feel for everything and I did NOT enjoy it. I know what I'm about to say reeks of gouda, but it needs to be said...do what you're passionate about. Fuck the economic viability of a degree. Better to be doing something you love and be in debt than to do something that makes you miserable and still be in debt. If you're unsure what excites you, I'd suggest community college. I know most people don't want to do that. I didn't. However, had I known then what I know now, I would be in a much better place in life. Hindsight blah blah. Every place is going to have its pros and cons. Ultimately, one place is going to feel right. Go with your mind's gut. If it betrays you, punish it with copious amounts of drugs and alcohol.


This. I know tons of people who went to school to become something when they weren't sure about a major. Midway they changed and it ended up biting them in the ass.

Find something you like doing...just about anything can be a career anymore...which is kinda weird
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#1495
KidSeventySeven

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Let me just say that community college was by far the best part of my education. I've gotten far more respect for the degree I had from there than the one I got for my BSN. The program was much better and tougher to get into. When making your decision, the only thing I can say is please don't get pulled into the hype of going to a university because it has an "better" name attached to it. You need to pick the college or university that is best tailored to the field of study you are interested in. My community college wasn't renowned for shite, but they had one of the top nursing programs in the country. Like D_Piece said, try to look into how the students feel about their experience there. Look it up on Google or Reddit. You can also review professors from different sites once you choose your college and path. 

 

Best of luck in your decision.


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Jon is fine, dammit.

#1496
JesusMonroe

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Thanks, guys. I'll let you know my decision when I make it


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Imagine a group of a hundred motorcycles driving down a freeway. Eventually, they hit a junction. One road goes northwest and the other goes northeast. So one guy, we'll call him S, says, "Let's go northwest!" A mile past the intersection, a semi careens into the group and kills ninety of them. Ten are wounded, but they survive and keep going. Eventually, they hit 10,000 miles. S suddenly has his consciousness thrown into his past body right before the junction. Now, he says, "Let's go northeast!" All 100 bikers survive. Happily ever after, right? But what about the ten, no nine, who went northwest and survived? What happens to the reality they were living? Does it just disappear now that S has changed the past? It's not like only bad things happened on that 10,000 mile journey. Maybe one of them fell in love with a gas station attendant and got her pregnant or maybe one adopted a homeless kid that joined the adventure. That 10,000 mile journey would be full of stories. Romances, farewells, friendships...the loss of those ninety lives is horrible and unfortunate, but what would rewriting their history mean? The nine who survived lived full lives and did the best they could with the hand they were dealt. How could it be right to just erase all that? Isn't that worth something? Is there a point to a world where everything is happy? Are people who struggle for a better life just idiots? Being human is about fighting even when it seems hopeless and finding happiness in a world that hates it. Are you saying that's worthless?


#1497
Guest_CraigTNelsonMandela_*

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decided to bake a cake

it overflowed and ruined two pans, and i get to scrub the stove/broiler

 

that and computer will need repairs, which i can't afford

 

not a good day



#1498
D_Piece

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How was the cake?


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#1499
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it didn't bake



#1500
backwoodsroamer

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decided to bake a cake

it overflowed and ruined two pans, and i get to scrub the stove/broiler

 

that and computer will need repairs, which i can't afford

 

not a good day

 

 

Don't let it get to you. I've had many culinary disasters. The catfish casserole springs to mind. I still feel nauseous thinking about it years later.

 

As for the day? Well some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug. Generally it all evens out in the end. :zombiethumbsup:  


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