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#1
DeadCave

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Going to play with this for a bit...
I keep asking for more feedback on the various chapters so that at least I know what it is that YOU constant reader want or am looking for. Even some questions and *gasp* possibly spoilers from yours truly, whenever I get the mood.
Comments on individual chapters/parts can still be posted for that particular chapter/part but what I guess is needed/wanted here is overall.
Going to ask the Mods to pin this so it don't get lost in the shuffle.

Lets see how it goes.

This story remember was written for all of you. So speak up.
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#2
Florida Walker

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DC,
Your story is very detailed, but it keeps me interested. You do not bore with that detail and it makes me the reader feel as if I am actually there. I can not find fault with your work. As a good writer, you mix up action with periods of detail and also leave open threads to be visited later. I have no opinion on which way you should go with this story, as I am enjoying the direction it is going in now. Honestly I have no complaints and am thoroughly enjoying it and look forward to new chapters. I even have a few "lurkers" here at work reading it also.
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"Forget about yesterday for it will never be again.
Worry about becoming a zombie today
And dream about a safe-zone for tomorrow"

#3
DeadCave

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Thanks, I've been watching a LOT of old movies lately and just keep getting ideas after ideas on where to go with character development and such. Yet the tough part of it lies where I'm not doing a direct copy of a character but having the same errr... characteristics and either modernizing them (as some are from classic novels) or changing their situation to suit the story.

On James, the 12 year old deaf boy who has all the training of a Navy Seal, I pondered where I got him from. Today I watched one of Disney's first films, "Treasure Island" and went AH! I read the Robert Louis Stevenson's novel by the same name and Jim Hawkins was roughly about 12 years old when he put to sea and fought against pirates. So subconsciously as I was writing, young master Hawkins became James. Thus helping verify that a boy his age could possibly do the things that James has been doing and be THAT good. Yes, I know Hawkins was a fictional character... but that's the beauty of it... so is James Stone. :lol:
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#4
Xfirekeenmike

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I see a love story just around every chapter part I read. Will save reading chapter part 13 and the rest tonight. As for me will be sleeping in five hours from now. Also, everything seems real to me and I like it.
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#5
DeadCave

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Xfirekeenmike fair warning ... I hated Twilight. So for you and anyone else hoping for a syrupy type of romance/horror... keep it up... I just might start making my zombies sparkle in the sun, walking around in bunny slippers and carrying beaten up stuffed animals. Oh wait they did that... in the first scene of the first episode.

I write whatever comes out of my head down my arms and through my fingertips. If there's a romance building up somewhere ... it's on the way... wait... there IS a romance already going on.

Edited by DeadCave, 21 January 2012 - 05:08 PM.

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#6
Tron

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ive read the last two chapters .. definitely good .. imo, zombie survival works so well, because tho there is an underlying story for characters, anyone can jump in at any junction in the story and be interested .. i dont really need to know what happened before this moment, i just jumped into a story where people are trying to survive and make due with what's left .. i mean we all know the circumstances and the situation, it's nice to see how different people play that out ..

with that said, maybe im lazy, so i wont be reading the other 25 chapters lol, but it's nice to be able to jump right in .. and i know if i stop for a while, then jump in a couple chapters from now, i might miss some of the story, but i will still be caught in the moment ..

props where they are deserved .. good writing ..
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Tron is back .....

#7
DeadCave

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ive read the last two chapters .. definitely good .. imo, zombie survival works so well, because tho there is an underlying story for characters, anyone can jump in at any junction in the story and be interested .. i dont really need to know what happened before this moment, i just jumped into a story where people are trying to survive and make due with what's left .. i mean we all know the circumstances and the situation, it's nice to see how different people play that out ..

with that said, maybe im lazy, so i wont be reading the other 25 chapters lol, but it's nice to be able to jump right in .. and i know if i stop for a while, then jump in a couple chapters from now, i might miss some of the story, but i will still be caught in the moment ..

props where they are deserved .. good writing ..


Thanks, sincerely.
I'm re-reading The Stand right now to keep me in the survivalist type of mood. I thought about doing a "no-great loss" chapter but meh, but then again... hmm...
Definitely lots more to come and yes Walkers will be present in chapter 28.
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#8
Xfirekeenmike

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Seen not one Twilight movie. Continue to write thru your fingertips DeadCave, thier destiny. Read chapter 13 off a printout in the hotel bathroom of the room I slept in. Thanks for just the right amount of they fell into love.


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#9
BitBrit

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I have been completely hooked since finding it over Christmas. Unputdownable. I like the way u provide cliff hangers, but provide enough answers in each chapter to keep me reading.

I'll read any genre but haven't read horror since teens, due to my ability to envisage the story, but am truly loving this.

The last author to get me this hooked was the Lincoln Rhyme books (not sure if u consider it a compliment, but its meant as one!)

BB
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#10
DeadCave

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I have been completely hooked since finding it over Christmas. Unputdownable. I like the way u provide cliff hangers, but provide enough answers in each chapter to keep me reading.

I'll read any genre but haven't read horror since teens, due to my ability to envisage the story, but am truly loving this.

The last author to get me this hooked was the Lincoln Rhyme books (not sure if u consider it a compliment, but its meant as one!)

BB


Thank you BitBrit, that is indeed a compliment.
Yet what I'm looking for is what it may be lacking. There's not a whole lot of dialogue in the story and it's something that I want to work on. Creating back and forth conversations isn't that easy when you already got the answers/replies so I'm looking for ways to create that. Otherwise if there's gaping holes in the plot or whatever else that you readers feel needs to be put in let me know.
Hence this discussion on the overall story as it grows.

Writing part 28 this week.

Edited by DeadCave, 22 January 2012 - 09:52 PM.

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#11
ArtfulDodger

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Good evening you man. I have indeed missed your writing greatly. I come armed with the worlds finest, blondest and sexiest excuse for not being up to date with your offerings! ~wicked grin~


As predicted holidays were fabulous as well as rural and thus bereft of internet connection. Funnily enough I'm actually having to translate to English before I write as this poor soul has been given a baptism of fire. Saw a few things that really sparked me off with regards to your story line and I'll discuss this at length with you via email. I'm really just touching base here as I feel I've neglected our conversations but I did say.... expect extreme absence.

To give you a taste... slept in a soviet era missile silo overnight, was great fun! Milked a cow and discovered the joys of ducks! My gentle country meadow flower has evolved into a prickly briar that insists on vodka for me morning noon and night! Oh the pain! ;) I shall stop here and replace my arse to you thread of conciousness where I will, no doubt, be amused and delighted.

On an unrelated note. I had the chance to explore a disused coal mine. My guide showed me the depths and intricacies of this subterranean marvel. I was struck by the vastness of it. You could have easily parked a few semi's in one of the main tunnels and there was one vertical shaft that disappeared into darkness as it descended beyond sight or sound. I wish you could have been there, I know you'd of had a huge kick out of that.

Adios amigo

AD..

Edited by ArtfulDodger, 24 January 2012 - 04:13 AM.

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'dodger...
"Smart motherf**kers sound like crazy motherf**kers to stupid motherf**kers"

#12
DeadCave

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Still working on part 28... life is getting in the way. Nearly complete... it's getting... complicated. Heh... can't wait to simplify things again.
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#13
zombiehunter

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The only thing may be the longevity of the main characters. If the main characters seem to escape death every time it may get stale. No sense of danger.

I read a book recently (some time travel book where the main character goes back to medevil times) and the character was never in danger. When he did encounter some obstacle he easily dispatched of the danger. It got to a point where I was getting bored because the main characater just seems invincable.

I haven't reached that point in your story but if your group continues to avoild danger maybe I will.

I hope you get what I am saying. I wrote this in a rush.
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#14
DeadCave

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The only thing may be the longevity of the main characters. If the main characters seem to escape death every time it may get stale. No sense of danger.

I read a book recently (some time travel book where the main character goes back to medieval times) and the character was never in danger. When he did encounter some obstacle he easily dispatched of the danger. It got to a point where I was getting bored because the main character just seems invincible.

I haven't reached that point in your story but if your group continues to avoid danger maybe I will.

I hope you get what I am saying. I wrote this in a rush.


I know what you mean. It's why I hate the Twilight vampires... seems nothing can kill them except werewolves and themselves. None of the traditional methods would work and that's just bullshit and was a big turn off for me, thousands of screaming fans be damned.

I have looked into the future of our little group and have foreseen a death coming. No, not for the main character John (because without him the narrative dies). So worry not. Like I said part 28 is nearly finished (prolly tonight) and there's some unpleasantness coming.
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#15
DeadCave

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Had an idea pop in to my head and want to get feed back on it... without giving too many spoilers. It's also a way you can help contribute to the story as it grows.
Caught In A Bind is going to wrap up soon. I'm trying to avoid the "hurling towards the climax/conclusion" style of writing but realized during writing all of it and building the story up in my mind as I go I'm now far enough where I can see ahead and I realized that this whole story is going to be in three volumes (or trilogy). Thus I had ideas pop up for part 2 and will work on a title but it'll essentially have the protagonists (John, Maggie, et al) and the ever lovin sniper.

As time goes on, small communities are born, as man, being the gregarious bastard that he is, have now been made up of survivors. Those now begin to sprout up throughout the country (and likely the world). Forming new societies and new governments and thus it's ripe for ancient societies to reform as the people (in John's world) are essentially anti-capitalistic, anti-communist, anti-socialist and the list goes on. Some of those little societies will replicate some of those ancient societies. There are already groups that do that on weekends or have made entire lives out of it... the ones from medieval times and the old west. Star Trek (TOS) touched upon the idea that an entire planet was based on an earth book about gangsters.
So I'm wanting to "cross-blend" a society or two, real and fiction, since the universe I'm writing about is fictional.

For example blend Bartertown with Feudal Japan.
Or Puritan and Mayan/Aztec societies

What do you think because these will be the type that any post-apocalyptic world population will have. Imagine the combinations that could arise in Asia and Europe and the other continents?

But for now lets stick with the Americas since it's going to be an interesting place to live for a while, at least until one society comes together again, sort of try again for the next 200 years. Will there be eventually another Civil War? (volume 3 perhaps?) and it'll still be a three way fight between two human factions and the undead.

Your ideas/thoughts ...
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#16
the Walkin Dude

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DC, sorry posted this under 28, should have posted it here.

DC , don't know what to say here. You keep looking for criticism on your writing, and i can't really give you any. Your writing is good in my humble opinion. As you know i have read all your writings, and enjoy them. The descriptiveness that you use is outstanding. I can associate with all your main characters. In part 28 just like in all the other parts of your writing, i can actually picture myself there. I felt like i was walking up the coorridors with the main characters, getting in and out of the elevators, and sitting in that conference room with them. I could picture the walkers behind the bullet proof glass. I may have seen a spelling error or grammatitcal error here or there but i was so blown away i don't remember where they were. Keep up the good work DC, IMHO you have a future in writing.
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Roll outta my coffin Drink poison in my chalice Pride begins to fade And y'all feel my malice

#17
DeadCave

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WD, I am my own worst critic and I do very much appreciate the feedback, thus far, from everyone that have read and enjoyed my story. It's what keeps me writing. But I'm the type that wants to continue giving his best and thus want to be sure that I'm not giving less. It comes from a life time of criticism from my family, always pushing me to do better, never happy with what I've produced thus far. Yeah makes me a terribly insecure mo-fo, but honestly I'm confident enough to put each chapter/part out when I'm done with it. But want to make sure that you, my readers are consistently happy with it.
Obviously I'm not seeing the forest for the trees and for that I apologize... to all of you. You guys (next to my gf whispering sweet stuff in my ear for doing such a good job), have been the best encouragement that I could have. Total strangers (becoming friends) giving honest opinions. Think I'm gonna shuddup and just keep doing what I've been doing. Thanks for the wake up call WD... seriously.

Volume 2 or the sequel is going to be more adventure and more trials and tribulations for our little group. I do feel this story is winding down to a close. Like I said it's all a first draft (basically) when I'm done with it then I'll go back over it all and try to beef up the skinnier chapters where needed and then get started on writing the next one.

Thanks again you guys... all of you who have contributed. Thanks to all who have spread the story via word of mouth as well.
I will throw out an appreciation for the lurkers who have upped the "read" count to well over 100 views.
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#18
BitBrit

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Well said walkin dude! DC almost made me feel bad for leaving positive feedback. Thanks for the explanations though, DeadCave.

Sorry to hear the 1st part is nearly over though DC. Ur ideas for the 2nd part sound interesting. I have no experience of those re enactments though, so it will be interesting to read (if u still post here).

BB
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#19
DeadCave

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Well said walkin dude! DC almost made me feel bad for leaving positive feedback. Thanks for the explanations though, DeadCave.

Sorry to hear the 1st part is nearly over though DC. Ur ideas for the 2nd part sound interesting. I have no experience of those re enactments though, so it will be interesting to read (if u still post here).

BB


Puzzling, why feel bad for leaving positive?
Been under quite a bit of stress on the home/work front, a lot of it negative... perhaps that's why I've been reaching out (subconsciously manifesting in my requests for more feedback, hadn't realized it until just now.

My apologies.

As I've said all of yours have been very helpful to this beaten down writer... :P to those who may say "it'll get better"... well maybe it will but not any time in the immediate future.

Okay enough pity party. I'm still coming up with ideas and what not. We're going to be in Wildfire for another few chapters before things *ahem* start happening. As much as you all like reading detailed I like writing it. So there's some stuff I wanted to explore before the dramatic music starts building up in the background. Heh.

You guys deserve the best I can give you, you've been great readers and fans.
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69% of the people find something dirty in everything they read.

#20
DeadbyDawn

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Just finished reading all of the parts and now I can see why everyone is blown away with the story. If I were you I would be lookin for a literary agent to sell your writings as a book. The detail and the character development are really good! Hopefully you keep writing and don't develop a major brain cramp.

Peace!
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#21
zombiehunter

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I actually wonder if this was put in a book how it would read. I think your pacing is good.

When is 29 coming out?
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#22
DeadCave

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I actually wonder if this was put in a book how it would read. I think your pacing is good.

When is 29 coming out?

Soon... just gotta find the time.
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#23
DeadCave

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Thoughts:
The story is getting more complicated as I go... at least for me. Now (and I spoiler tagged this in case others haven't gotten as far as chapter 29),
Spoiler


I got ideas bouncing around in my head to make a cool conclusion to the story but I'm rejecting them as fast as they come. Which is why I've asked you folks to help contribute your ideas as to the hows, whys and wherefores.
I truly appreciate (and accept) your assessment of my writing skills but remember I'm still a fledgling writer and am still new to this. For those of you who have read everything up to 29, where/what do you think should happen next or where the story should go at this point?
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#24
the Walkin Dude

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DC, take your time, i know you have a lot on your plate.
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Roll outta my coffin Drink poison in my chalice Pride begins to fade And y'all feel my malice

#25
BitBrit

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It's your baby, so stick with it, and give the ending you feel right.

We will critique accordingly ;-)
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